Chaos, Uncertainty, and Mixed Signals

Things have been a bit of a wild ride this past several days.  In fact, it’s been rough for over a week now.  There are things happening that are at least good for me, and I’m hoping that they’ll eventually turn around and be good for all of us.

Long story

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Special or Not

Ah yes, the specialness topic.

This came up recently when T and I were talking and she basically said that she doesn’t feel special because he could have "had this" with anyone.  I tried to explain to her that no, no one else could have filled the space in his life, or in mine, that she has.  I’m not altogether sure she believed it. Thoughts and a note for T

Surprises and more surprises!

So, tonight when we all got home, J had promised me 15 minutes of snuggle time.  We went to my room, stretched out on the bed and just sort of lay together being happy and talking about silly useless stuff.  As I got up and started moving around, T came in.  Somehow we ended up with all 3 of us snuggled up on the bed together.  This isn’t the most unusual thing for us.  We’ve been known to stretch out and each of us girls will have one of J’s arms around us.  We have movies together this way sometimes, and sometimes just go for the comfort of being together. 

Then…

It’s not always smiles.

J spent the night with T last night.  This was nothing surprising, and honestly, when they went to bed, I was just fine.  Bored and a little lonely for someone to talk to, but not unhappy.  We’d had a good evening together before they went off to have their time together, and everything was fine.

I woke up this morning so unhappy and so lonely that I had to tell myself to stop thinking about moving out, stop thinking about leaving.

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