Who we are

Yes, you read the title right.  This is all about a polyamourous family of three.  We’re a poly-fi FMF Vee but we function like a triad.

I am E, the female “primary partner” of J.  The other female is T, my best friend and roommate, which is how this all got started.  T and J fell in love.  What wasn’t expected was for them to find out that I knew a way to make this all work out for everyone.  Yep, I’ve been in poly relationships before!  So, I explained the option to them.  T and J were both quite opposed to the idea initially.  They’d never done anything but monogamy.  Their feelings didn’t go away though, and I just held the door open and waited, knowing that in time, love would change their minds.  Oh, and I put “primary partner” in quotes because I really don’t see T as secondary to me at all.  Her relationship with J is just as important to me as my own is.

Whatever happens here, I suppose that means it’s all my fault.  I hope it’s good because I’d like to take credit for something starting that went right, not for a nightmare!

J and I have been in one another’s lives for a long long time.  We have a huge history and a bond that’s undeniable.  Our relationship is different, to say the least.  We’re not super romantic to one another on a regular basis.  We disagree on politics and religion and lots of things.  We have some ups and downs that would make others throw in the towel.  We’ve thrown in the towel ourselves in the past.  But, we are what we are, and we complement one another so perfectly that even when we try, we just can’t let go of one another.

T and I met through a series of strange coincidences and bonded closely to one another.  Last year, almost one year ago in fact, I moved into an apartment with her.  The connection just kept deepening.  I have known perhaps two others in my life that I felt so close to.  Of course, as he visited me, J got to know T as well.

I am a support rep for a software company that is owned by one of those mega-companies that has a hand in many fields of business.  The job is stressful, but the pay and benefits are wonderful and the work environment itself is good.  I also create art and write in my free time.  I have children who are mostly grown from a previous marriage (and who have all accepted T outright).  I love music, dancing, singing, and so much more.  I also love to be outdoors, and hiking and camping are complete favorites of mine.

J is a programmer and film-maker.  He mostly handles the important logistics that happen behind the scenes and works on code for video games.  He also loves music, politics and history (and me and T, of course).  He’s also a big camping and hiking person, though I suspect that a large portion of the appeal with the camping is that he gets to make a great big bonfire every night!  He’s my biggest cheerleader and has never seen anything I can’t do.  What really happens is he tells me he thinks I can, and then I do.

T is an environmental scientist and is working on getting into grad school.  She and J are beginning to study for the GRE together, with the hope that he can also go to grad school.  She’d love most to go to Berkely, but already got accepted to Yale.  She’s the one who finds all of our awesome camping areas because she’s spent more time camping in the deeper regions of the wilderness here than J or I have.  She’s great at it, too!  Don’t come camping with us without a roll of TP and a shovel!  She’s also a big music fan and has the most amazing and powerful singing voice I’ve heard in years.

So, how we got started is pretty simple.  T and J fell for one another.  Somehow, I just felt that there was no reason for them not to be together, and after a little while to get their heads around the idea, they decided to give it a shot.  We’re sitting at our one month anniversary of the night that decision was made now.  It has been bumpy, but there are bright spots in the bumpy ride that keep us all working at it.  There are days on end that we all get along so well, no jealousy, no nervousness, no fears, and we just move together so beautifully I never want it to end.  Then there are days where someone is hurt, jealous, stressed, afraid, overwhelmed, or whatever, and it throws us all three for a spin.  We work it out and try to get back to that place together where things flow for us.

So much has happened already though, I thought it might be good to have a place to tell the story as it happens.  Whatever comes, it’ll be an interesting ride!

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