As I was re-reading the last entry I realized that I’ve spent perhaps an undue amount of time speaking about the difficulties of a fledgling poly household. There are benefits to having a poly household. For starters, I don’t have to listen to music that J loves and I don’t like. T likes that music though, so it gives them something to share and spares me for the most part! (That’s meant to be funny, it’s ok to laugh.)
This past week has been perhaps our best yet. There has been peace, for the most part, between us all. It’s a grand thing to experience.
I think my favorite was last night when J took a nap and T stretched out on one side of him and read a book while I stretched out on the other side and napped with J. It was just that comfortable and relaxed. I really enjoyed having both of them there and the simple peace of us all being together and being content together.
Tonight though, T made my heart just swell right up. She mentioned that the odds were against the three of us having met, and against us being together, and yet, here we are. I hadn’t really recognized it in that way. I knew that the odds were against me and J being together. I always knew that. We lived half a continent apart from one another when we met. I hadn’t really let it sink in that not only were J and I together, but we’d found a wonderful match for us in T, and not only were we in the same state, or even in the same town, but I was in the same home with her when we found her. Sometimes, I do get a sense of destiny about all this, and I think it made me very happy to realize that I’m not the only one who understands how exceptional this entire adventure is.
I do have a lot of very high hopes for all of us, and for our future as a triad. We even had a nice reminder last weekend about how well things work out for us when we all focus ourselves on achieving one common goal. Things don’t move more easily when we do that, they simply open up and flow forward in the direction that we need them to.
I’ve been doing some reading lately from a book about shamanic practitioners from around the world. Every one of them credits their loved ones with making it possible for them to work. Their loved ones give them faith and strength to keep going when it seems like the tasks are just too much. Being a shamanic practitioner myself, I understand the loneliness that comes from that working. Yet, I find less and less loneliness and more and more understanding and encouragement from T and J. I asked the gods early this year for a partner, someone who could withstand the trials I must face without interrupting them, but who could be at my side. I even asked specifically for J, if it were possible and good for us. The answer I was given was "Done and done." I couldn’t understand why it was said twice, but now, I find myself wanting to go back and ask again if the answer was not for one partner, but for two.
I do know that while I was with an ex, he was saying that he sensed another woman to join with us, to be in a triad with us. I also sensed her, and knew her hair type and color, that she would be recently separated and divorcing, and I even pointed in the direction in which she lived. He and I thought it meant she was somewhere nearby, in a smaller, outlying town. As it turns out, she was about 1000 miles away, and had no more idea that this was coming for her life than I did when we met. How odd that he sensed my future though.
Whatever this is, whether divinely determined destiny, a freak chance, or a wonderful example of synchronicity, I am glad for both T and J and for all that they each bring into my life. I hope, more than I think I’m ready to really admit, that this never ends for us.